Hurt
by Melpomene Rose
Summary: Unable to bear her lonliness and isolation, Relena resorts to the unthinkable to relieve her pain.


Author's Notes, whee!: Be warned, this story does contain adult situations dealt with in an adult manner. I hope you all enjoy it, it's definately been a labor of love. If enough people like it, i'll continue it^.^  
  
All Standard Disclaimers Apply (ASDA)  
  
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Heero crept silently into Relena's darkened room. She should be deeply asleep at this hour of the night. But she wasn't in her bed, and the bedclothes hadn't been touched. He scanned the room with his cold, emotionless eyes, mentally cursing himself for asking Maxwell to be his lookout. His keen eyes caught the back of her head, blonde hair shining colding in the moonlight. Relena was sitting against the other side of the bed. The pilot of Wing Gundam noted the unnatural tilt of her head, it looked to him as if she had passed out.   
  
"Finally come to finish the job, Heero?" Relena's voice drifted to his ears, quiet and somehow strange.   
"You should be sleeping now, Relena" he said quietly, moving around to the end of the bed. Now he could see most of her. The Queen of the Cinq kingdom was slumped against the bed, head drooping. This didn't look right to him at all. Something was dreadfully wrong.   
"Have you finally come to kill me, Heero?" Relena asked again her voice forceful, the tone eerily like his own cold monotone. Now Heero could tell that something was very very wrong.   
"Yes, of course I've come to kill you," He replied to placate her as he slowly moved closer so she wouldn't be startled. Relena turned to look at him, her face as pale as death.   
"Well, you're too late," She giggled, her laugh on the edge of hysteria. Heero was almost floored by the stench of alcohol. She raised her wrists and held them out to him. She had slashed them, deeply, and blood was dripping onto the soft white carpet. At least she did it right, he thought to himself. She has cut deeply along the veins up to the middle of her forearms. This was much more effective than simply cutting across the wrists. He could see from the pool of crimson on the carpet that she had been waiting for him.   
  
The girl he loved was trying to die. All those times she had begged him to kill her, she really had wanted to die. The revelation shook him to the core. He rushed over and knelt beside her, clamping his hands around her bleeding wrists in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood. Relena mumbled something before she passed out from the blood loss. Heero held her carefully in his arms as he walked to Relena's private bathroom. Once he had settled her against the wall, he used two pristine white towels to slow the bloodflow. After getting her settled, he ran back out to the balcony.   
  
"Maxwell!!" he whispered furiously, his fear for Relena masquerading as anger. Duo stopped whistling and turned around.   
"What!?" the braided pilot replied. He was quite astonished to see Heero's bloody hands and shirt.   
"Get the first aid kit out of the car and get in here," Heero ordered before dissapearing back into Relena's room. She hadn't moved from where he had left her on the bathroom floor. He gently touched her cheek, tears blurring his vision. She was so cold and pale.   
"Why did you do this, oh why?" Heero asked softly. Just then Duo leaped over the balcony and into the darkened bedroom.   
"Heero? Where are you?" Duo whispered loudy as he stumbled around in the dark.   
"Over here, you ass!" Heero snapped, worry making his already short temper nonexistent. He gently lifted Relena, her head draped across his shoulder; as he carried her to her bed. Duo gasped, seeing the splatters of Relena's blood on the snowy white carpet. He set the white case next to the young queen's unconsious body. Heero grabbed a roll of gauze and the bottle of antiseptic. Duo was uncomfortable, he had never really liked Relena, but her plight touched a chord deep in his heart. Heero, however, was busy berating himself for letting such a thing happen to the girl, no, woman that he loved. He gently cleaned and bandages her wrists, then he wiped the dried blood off her face and hands. When he was sure that everything had been taken care of, he let himself feel.   
Tears slid down his cheeks as he silently sobbed. Duo placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, this time Heero did not push him away. Once the situation was under control, he called for Relena's personal position. He waited impatiently for the doctor to arrive. Once she had arrived, he swore her to secrecy and threatened her life if she spoke of the situation. She stitched up Relena's wounds and rebandaged them, then the doctor left to go home and sleep off the stress of the evening.   
  
Relena was unconcious for two days and nights. Heero didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't leave her side. Duo almost had to force feed him peanut butter sandwiches. When Relena finally woke, she didn't see the two pilots staring down at her. She curled into the fetal position and wept as if her heart her breaking. Heero gently wiped away her tears, while silently praying for her sanity. When she was calm and coherent, he decided to ask her a few questions.   
"Why, Relena?" he asked, gazing into her azure eyes. She looked up at him, a pain so deep and profound in her eyes he knew he could never trully understand.   
"You don't know what it's like, Heero, all day, everyday people pretending to be your friend, pretending that they care. The paperwork, the speeches, the interviews, they think I'm not human..." She trailed off, tears obscuring her vision once more.   
"Go on, you know you can tell me everything," Heero replied, holding her hand gently.   
"Pacifism has been my life for, almost twenty years now, but it's not me. I don't know who I am. In a way, I guess I'm a bit like you, Heero." She continued. In a moment of uncertainty, Relena broke eye contact with him, staring down at her bandaged wrists with disgust. Tenderly, he placed a knuckle under her chin, kindly forcing her too look at him. She complied, and he saw the shame and self loathing in her eyes.   
"Please Relena, I can't help you if you won't talk to me!" He whispered passionately. He wanted so much to help her out of her darkness that he left himself wide open, a feat many had deemed impossible, even himself.   
Duo had remained silent through all of this, and now he smiled to himself. So Suicide Boy had a heart, and that heart was Relena Peacecraft. He snuck out of the room, and made a phone call to Hilde.   
"Well, Heero, it's been obvious to me for quite awhile that you've been searching for your true self. Not just in name, but in heart..." Relena trailed off, fatigue making its presence known. She drifted off to a deep, dreamless sleep.   
  



End file.
